I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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