Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Be still, my beating vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
