there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
not ubering you a puppy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
