Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am available for nakedness
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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