i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
