Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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