Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
