i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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