i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
