i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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