someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
