it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
