yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
