I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
