I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
