My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
