I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
