There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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