He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
