if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
And then he peed in my hair
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