do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
