...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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