I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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