I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
