im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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