yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
