for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
