oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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