my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
