from now on my penis is your penis
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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