If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
