He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
