Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
