I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
