pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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