Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
