For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
