Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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