so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
