Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
