you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
