I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
