my sisters under your porch take her home
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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