I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh god it's open bar.
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
