I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
