so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
