you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
