By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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