Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
