There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
