Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
