so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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