i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just googled if crying burns calories
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
