There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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