you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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