I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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