The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
