i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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