Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
