yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Randomize
