Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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