i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When did angry sex become our thing?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
