She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
