It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i think my cat just said my name.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
