you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
