you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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