Im at strip club and am horny
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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