Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like iHOP with fire
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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