nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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